I just had a baby five minutes ago.

In six short months, we will bringing home a new baby.  I feel like I JUST SAID THIS, LIKE, FIVE MINUTES AGO.  Rob and I tentatively have a name picked out for a boy and for a girl (it's still a secret, just until we find out what we're having), but otherwise there doesn't seem to be a lot of time to think about the new baby at the moment. That looks horrible now that it's just sitting there in black and white. But it's the truth. Guess there is no honeymoon phase for the 2nd pregnancy.  I'm just content to go to my doctor's appointments and hear that everything is fine.

I have to admit I have some anxiety and a few mixed feelings about the situation.  What in the world is it going to be like with a 19-month old and a newborn?  

How will I love anyone as much as I love Emerald?  Is there room in my heart for TWO BABIES?How will I make sure Em gets all that she needs and deserves without completely ignoring a new baby? And vice versa? How do I manage to have two kids that close together and not compare them at every turn?  To remember that every child is different?

I know that none of these are new concepts-every parent has them, but not all care to admit it.  I'm not scared to say that I'm nothing short of petrified.  Excited to meet Em's new baby sibling.  SO excited to see Em become a big sister, to watch the two grow up together.  SO VERY EXCITED to be DONE HAVING BABIES.  Which, done we will be, as soon as this one is out.  Then I can drink every day for the rest of my life if I want. And I might need to.

I kind of feel like I'm joining a brave group of parents-those that have two babies under the age of two. Whoa.  Not that all people who choose to become parents aren't brave, of course. Sometimes it takes  a hell of a lot of bravery to get out of bed and see what in the heck my darling baby (toddler!) has in store for me today. And I know from talking to many of my friends that the challenges never stop, no matter how many kids you have.

But you know, I had lots of anxiety about what it would be like with one baby, and somehow you just make it work.  You just do what has to be done. And it feels right once the baby has joined your family.  So I'm just going to count on that. And remember to take at least half as many pictures of new baby as we have taken of Emerald.