An internet in her ears

Emerald is getting tubes in her ears tomorrow morning.  We are to be there at 5 a.m.

At her evaluation this morning, we found out that due to the fluid in her right ear, she has lost all the hearing on that side.  

Despite all this, she is still happy and energetic, a delightful child.  I can't imagine how she will be when she actually feels good.

Doc says that she will regain her hearing when the fluid drains out, and everyone says we will be bringing home "a different child".

I can't wait for her to feel better!

The Queen of TP

Spend time looking for the perfect toys for your baby.  Really, I dare you.  The ones that are not made of plastic from China.  The ones that are wooden, or don't make noise, or make delightful noises, promote development, and are painted with lead-free paint. 

She will prefer a pack of toilet paper, an empty ginger ale bottle, and a stick.  

But first I will update you on Father's Day.  We had to have it a week late, because as I mentioned in my previous post, we had to go to a conference on Father's Day.  Rob got a free drink on the plane, so I guess that was some consolation.  We took a picture of it with his iPod, but his iPod got lost on the trip, hereby making that trip (with the illnesses and everything) the BEST TRIP EVER.  

Anyway.  At daycare, Em "made" Rob this card (which is only sort of in the picture).  I thought it was great that the teachers thought to make it blue and orange for him.  A picture of them looking happy would be nice, but these pics of them looking EXACTLY LIKE EACH OTHER are way better.

For "Belated Father's Day", I made Rob this fancy-ish French Toast.  

Yes, Tommy, I did take this idea from that breakfast you made for us all those years ago.

Yes, Tommy, I still remember it as the only French Toast I have ever liked.

Before our big trip, we (read: Keri) had to pack up Emerald's stuff for her visit with Joy and Charlie.  BTW, how great was that guest post!?  Anyway, Em wanted to help with her own addition to the collection.

Dad's sock!  I will bring Dad's sock!

Just checking it's in there.

Em spent some time outside with Dad and Slick.

Hey Slick, check out what I've got.  It tastes pretty good! 

Now I'll have some!

(Look at Slick with his paw on her leg! Adorbs.)

Practicing for her country music album cover, gotta perfect that sultry "I don't care" face.

When we got home from our trip, there was SO. MUCH. LAUNDRY.  SO MUCH.  So naturally I piled it all in Em's room and shut the door.  I got around to folding it on Saturday, but Rob was gone so I had a little helper.

Another favorite toy:  receipts.

Guess I wouldn't have gotten reimbursed for that trip to Ann Taylor Loft anyway.

 And another favorite toy, this toilet paper I bought.  I'm considering sending these pictures to Quilted Northern to see if they'll make her a spokes-baby, haha! Also I have to say that I now know why every plastic bag in the world says "THIS IS NOT A TOY" on it.  Because there is nothing in the world a baby loves more than a crinkly plastic bag.  Except maybe dog food.

Why is TP the perfect toy?

Perfect for pulling up.  

Light enough to move around.

A good listener.

A friend when you need it.

Delicious.

In other news, her ears are still raging with infection, going on two months now.  We are getting evaluated for tubes on Thursday.

That is all.  Turns out I fail again at making it to the other side of the camera.  But you all know what I look like.  You also know that Em is much cuter :)

What I learned about Emerald Mans

Hola world! My name is Joy.  I am friends with Keri and Rob, and a coworker with Keri.  I have the great privilege of being the first guest blogger here on “The Circus Elephant Has Lost His Way.” I get this honor because I have kept another human alive for the last eight years. 

As some of you may know Keri and Rob went to a conference together in Philadelphia.  Taking Emerald with them was really not an option. When we found this out my husband and I jumped at the opportunity to watch Emerald.  We haven’t had a baby in the house for seven years, and as I stated above we have successfully kept our son alive for eight years so I guess that qualifies us to watch someone else’s child. 

At first having Em, what I like to call her, took a bit to adjust to, but within a very short period of time we fell into the old routine of bottles, diapers, play time, and early bedtimes.  We really enjoyed having a little one in the house, especially one as pleasant as Em. 

So here is my list of the top ten things I now know about Emerald Joyce Mans:

1.     Emerald has an infectious smile.

Emerald smiles constantly.  Even when she is tired or a little fussy, if you give her a smile you are going to get a huge smile back.

2.     Emerald loves junk food.

Snack time at the Roche house means Doritos, after texting Keri for permission we scraped some of the cheese off the Doritos and let her have a taste.  She loved it.  So Keri and Rob sorry they aren’t organic but she loved them.

3.     Emerald’s favorite word is “Baa!”

Randomly Emerald will slap something and say, “Baa!”  I am not sure what this means, but when she says it, she means it.

4.     Emerald loves animals.

It is a good thing that Em loves animals because at our house we have four dogs, one cat, and four birds.  She loved watching the birds in my bedroom in the morning.  Luckily for me they kept her occupied while I showered and got dressed.  She also loved watching my dogs, and they loved all the crumbs of food she dropped.

5.     Emerald has a thing for earrings.

My husband has both of his ears pierced, and in them he has thick hoops.  Apparently those hoops are perfect Em sized because she never missed an opportunity to wrap her fingers around them and pull.  Often I would hear him scream from across the house for some help.

6.     Emerald can be a big faker.

So let me get this straight Em, you can easily and successfully get out of your car seat harness by yourself, but armholes in shirts elude you. I am not buying it.

7.     Emerald thinks my son is the bee’s knees.

When the dogs were busy, there was always my son, Aidan, to watch.  And when Aidan alone got boring there was Aidan and his friends playing army to amuse her.

8.     Emerald is a big hit at her day care.

Even though I was a bit sad when I had to drop Em off at day care, I quickly realized that everyone loves Em at day care.  How could you not?

9.     Emerald is very ticklish.

Her belly, legs, and feet are all prime locations.  If you ever get the chance to tickle Em, I highly recommend it.

10.  Emerald has stolen our hearts.

Even though Em was only with us for a few days she stole our hearts.  After just two days I told Keri that we were not giving her back.  Of course we had to give her back, but we were promised another chance to have her.

So Emerald, it was great to have you for a short time.  I hope you enjoyed us as much as we enjoyed you. 

BONUS!!!!!!!!! As a thank you for taking care of Em, Keri made us some of her delicious gumbo and some chocolate cookies.  She and Em brought them over last Sunday and we had it for dinner.  Charlie ate three bowls and passed out. Thanks again Keri and Rob!!!

It's somewhat partly cloudy in Philadelphia.

Rob and I went to a conference in Philadephia, PA!  The city of brotherly love!  Someone on the shuttle from the airport to the hotel (on U Penn's campus!) said, "I just want to warn you, there is no southern hospitality here.  So you shouldn't be surprised by that.".  Why would I be?  It's in the northeast, after all.  But they did seem to have some "northeastern hospitality", and I found the people there to be MUCH more manageable than the ones in Boston or Washington DC.  So that was good.  And UPenn's campus is amazing.  I guess I was somewhat starstruck by all the history there, but Rob and I loved walking around the place.  

And that's where the happy feelings end.

On Sunday, we got to Philly and had to go immediately to the conference.  WHO STARTS A CONFERENCE ON FATHER'S DAY?  Probably the same group of people who all got together and booked the SfN conference for my birthday (at least it's in NOLA), Rob's departmental research retreat for Valentine's Day Weekend 2013, and the Schizophrenia meeting (that should be fun!) in Orlando for the week leading up to our anniversary in 2013.  Hey guys!  Rob's birthday is still open!  Anyone want to schedule a research retreat?  Conference?  

Anyway, the start to the conference was largely good, except for some problems with maps and getting lost. On Monday, I decided to skip one of the talks and go to the hotel gym.  Our room was on the 5th floor, very close to the stairs and not so close to the elevator.  So naturally I took the stairs, headed to the 3rd floor.  Long story short:  I was stuck in the stairwell.  Evidently people at this establishment don't take the stairs, so they are for emergencies only.  Which means this:  ONCE YOU GET INTO THE STAIRWELL, YOU CANNOT GET OUT.  I had to take the emergency exit on the ground floor, which set off an alarm.  In response to the hotel alarm going off (it was localized to that area, not the whole hotel, thankfully), I TOOK OFF RUNNING.  Good Job.  And you should complete the picture in your mind by understanding that I had not planned my workout clothes very well, so I was wearing hot pink shorts, and a T-shirt that was hot pink and pale pink.  No, none of these pink colors matched or coordinated with each other.  I'm sure I'm on camera somewhere.  Then I went to the front desk, told them what had happened, and was chastised for even taking the stairs in the first place.  "They are for emergencies only," is what I was told, and even when I told them that they should post some kind of sign about being stuck in the stairwell, I was further chastised for taking the stairs....TO THE GYM. Shake. My. Head.

Then, at lunch, a group of us decided to go to a restaurant called "Greek Lady".  I was super pumped because I love Greek food.  But it wasn't that good.  We seriously have better Greek food in Birmingham, AL. I ordered hummus, and it came in a shape.  Like it had been scooped with an ice cream scoop.  It had almost no flavor, it was obviously JUST CHICKPEAS. So, in addition to my rule to never eat from a truck, I'm going to add another one:  Hummus shouldn't come in a shape.

Monday evening I presented a poster about the course I designed and taught this semester.  I had lots of interested people and some even tried to hire me.  But as delightful as "northeastern hospitality" is, I don't imagine I will be moving there anytime soon.  Then we went for dinner at an AWESOME restaurant called "White Dog Cafe", where Rob had the best catfish he has ever had.  In Philly.  Now that's depressing.  It was an amazing meal.  

At some point on Monday, I started to sound a little sultry and subsequently lost my voice.  It was completely gone by Monday night.  Tragic for me.  Probably great for everyone else. Rob and I overslept Tuesday and missed the first session of the meeting. Winning.

Tuesday was less exciting, and the closing dinner for the conference was in the Penn Museum.  It was delicious!  And there are mummies in the museum!  Real not-live mummies!  Rob and I got lost in the museum, because we tried to go to other floors to look at other things.  Evidently we were not allowed because we almost got locked in, and had to take the academic elevators and some crazy route to get out of the museum.  

Wednesday morning Rob woke up puking.  He thinks he ate some bad vegetables at the dinner on Tuesday night.  We flew home Wednesday, too, so he had a great day flying from Philly to Tampa, landing there in a thunderstorm, and then from Tampa to Birmingham.  

We picked Emerald up from Joy's house last night, where she had been since Saturday.  SO happy to see her! She actually hyperventilated a little when she saw Rob...I got no such star treatment.  Oh well.  Joy is supposed to do a guest post about Em's visit with them soon, so you'll get to read all about it.

Happy Thursday,
Your favorite sultry-voiced blogger.

Wow. Just, wow.

So here I am again, thinking I should have updated quite a bit ago.

Here's what's up with us.

1.  Emerald has an ear infection.  Like, can't lie flat, has to sleep in her swing and have numbing drops put in her ears for pain.  We are on our third antibiotic and hoping it works.  On our THIRD visit to the pediatrician, we were FINALLY prescribed some ear drops for her pain.  I'm quite ticked off that it took this long, and that I had to ask for them.  I feel like I'm a pretty smart person, but how am I supposed to know what to ask for?  That's why I have a doctor.  Anyway, if her infection is still going strong on Friday, her last day of this antibiotic, I will have to stay home from the conference Rob and I are supposed to attend starting next Sunday.  No way I can fly with a baby that has an ear infection (purest form of hell).  We are supposed to leave her with Joy and Charlie, but I'm not leaving them with my sick baby to contend with, so we will see how it all plays out.

2.  I got food poisoning this week.  See, I have personal rule that I have followed my whole life.  It goes like this:  NEVER EAT FOOD FROM A TRUCK.  But I was talked into it this week because evidently this truck was special.  And they use all natural, organic, local ingredients, etc.  And then I got food poisoning.  Damn hippies.  They don't even have diet coke at this truck, which should have been my first clue. I was sick for about two days, and still don't feel completely right. On the upside, I have probably reached my goal weight.  

I won't be posting publicly the location where I got the food poisoning, or the person that talked me into breaking my "no truck food" rule. But you are welcome to ask me if you like, for public health reasons.

3.  Em is pulling up now!!  She feels pretty okay during the day and loves to play with her toys and find all the hazardous things in the house, as I have mentioned before.  Guess I need to move the liquor bottles from her reach, as she is eyeballing our bottle of Grey Goose.

4.  Here are some pictures.

Loving the porch swing.  I made it to the other side of the camera!  

But I am gross and sweaty after a run, so I don't know how great that actually is.

Out for lunch last Saturday with Dongfeng, Em's first time in a restaurant high chair.

"Little Miss Grabby Hands" did great.

More Duck Face.

Grass cures ear infections, right? 

Probably not THIS kind of grass...

(LOVE this dress Memere had made for her!)

Napping with the bunny.

Pulling up!

What a big kid! 

One of the daycare teachers said Em pulled down her pants last week :)

 Dad and Em make music while I cook dinner.

Now I love this stock pot for more than one reason.

Mans Family Suffocation

Rob and I took a week off (the week before Memorial Day) for vacation.  We didn't go anywhere.  It was glorious.  There was no baby stuff to pack and unpack and repack.  No diapers and wipes and baby food jars and bottles and bottle brushes and tiny bottle parts and formula and cereal and baby medicine to remember. No millions of bags to cram into the trunk of the car.  (Not to mention my shoes! ) Traveling for us is ridiculous, and we usually only do it when we are going to see family.  And then both of us end up overtired and in a bad mood when we get home. It was like that before Emerald was born, and now we just prefer to stay at home and do stuff locally.  

So then we tried to plan a family vacation and became so stressed by the idea that we decided to take a week off and do nothing.  With the two weekends and the Memorial Day Holiday, we had a total of TEN DAYS OFF.  It was great.  It would have been better if the whole fam damily hadn't come down with a horrible sinus infection.  We couldn't breathe at all.  Em is still getting better, because her illness was closely followed by an ear infection. No one had a fever, but we were still pretty miserable. Anyway.  On to happier things--poop.

The first day of vacation, Saturday, Emerald Joyce Mans woke up and was covered in poop.  It was contained inside her onesie, but it was so bad.  So. Bad.  I called Rob out of bed over the baby monitor and we managed to get her undressed without getting shit on her face and in her hair.  Bonus points to us. We threw the onesie in the trash can and I put her promptly in the tub. I was washing her off and she looked at me with the sweetest look on her face and said (wait for it)..."Amama.  Mama".  Thanks Emerald.  You waited til just the right moment to completely melt my heart.  Anyway, she says it all the time now, but I don't think she quite understands the association of the word with me quite yet.  She is getting the hang of it though.  She will sometimes say "Mama" when I walk into the room and then she'll reach for me.  She also says "Dada", but it's more of a "Dadadadadada".  

During our time off, Rob went fishing twice, and I did some shopping.  I went on my first treasure hunting trip to Goodwill and found out that you can buy a piano for $50.09, and you can also purchase golf clubs for $1 each.  And I also learned that if you spend enough time in Goodwill, you leave feeling like you're covered in mold.  It was fun though, and I found some good stuff for cheap. We also took Emerald on her first zoo trip!  We were going to take her to the lake on a boat ride, but everyone got sick so we just laid around instead.  Plenty of time this summer for boat rides.  Rob and I also went out for lunch at Cheesecake Factory and then to see The Avengers in 3D, which was amazing. We want to see every movie in 3D from now on (of course we do)!

We haven't taken a ton of pictures lately, but here are some recent ones.

Starting vacay off right--Em is off to a baseball game with Dad.

Somehow she still looks cute in this ridiculous getup.

Playing on the floor..."Mooooommmmm!  Look at this cool toy I found!"

 Em's first trip to the zoo!  You will see in subsequent pictures that she was. not. loving. 

the presence of the camera on this day.

These guys look thrilled.

By the giraffes...this is where the photo ops really get pointless.

Who taught her the duck face is what I want to know.

"hm, socks."

 Having fun watching the giraffes, when she finally noticed them.

After giving up on a decent picture of Rob and Em:

(Even the giraffe in the background got in on the fun)

Em really just wanted to play with her hat.

It was rhino feeding time, she loved it.

This gorilla had better things to do than entertain us.

Plumb tuckered out.  She took a 3 hour nap!